Well Of Loneliness

The Well of Loneliness

Single, dating, married without kids, married with kids, divorced, you name it, I'm starting to thinks it's possible we all have a well of loneliness.

• This well is there; a vacuum sitting void.
• Sometimes something fills it for a brief moment. 
• Sometimes it's easy to ignore. 
• Sometimes it sweeps me down into the very bottom of it and it captures my thoughts. 
• It's walls are lined with slippery lies that sound like truth, that keep me there. 

•  Here are a few: Lies
• You are the only one who feels this way. 
• No guy should find you valuable. 
• You don't deserve love. 
• No friend would want to hear about this feeling. 
• It's so dark here, that daylight wont make a difference.

• This well for me is real. 
• The lies sound real. 
• The emotions are mourning, shame, and sadness. 
• But I'm going to unpack some of those lies. 
• Because, maybe, if I shine some light on them here, next time they attack, they will have less power. 
• Every lie has a kernel of truth that makes it sound right,
•  I'm dissecting the kernel or partial truth in the lie,
• And re-emphasising the whole truth
• This reality is clearer at this moment, because I'm above the well.

• You are the only one who feels this way.
• Kernel of truth: Not everyone is feeling this at the same time.
• I was blessed to be in a room full of people who admitted they felt this too. 
• The truth is no one feels this way all the time, but there are those who completely understand it because they have felt it before.
• I am not alone. And either are you. 

• No guy finds me valuable.
• Kernel of truth: Right this moment a guy is not filling my well of emptiness.
• And it's not a guy's job to do it. 
• They can't read my mind and fill me up when ever I feel down. 
• They don't magically come out of the woodwork and sweep me off my feet when I get lonely. 
• I can be in a relationship feeling alone or alone feeling alone. 
• Men is not where my value should be accessed. 
• The God of the universe was whipped, nailed, spit on, and verbally abused because I was worth it to him. 
• How ridiculous that I think I know more than God when it comes to my own value.

• I don't deserve love.
• Kernel of truth: I don't deserve love. No one does.
• Love is not something we earn. 
• There is no standard you have to meet to get it. 
• It comes from God perfectly and others imperfectly.
• I am loved. 
• And that is that.

• No Friend Would Want to Hear About this Feeling.
• Kernel of truth: Not every friend of mine needs to hear about this feeling.
• There are few select safe people in my life that I share this stuff with. 
• It is a privilege to let a friend in on “well times.” 
• A privilege that I have to invite some people into. 
• They can't read my mind, I must take action. 
• I once spent a horrible day wishing to call a friend about my 'well time.' 
• And I couldn't call her because I knew she was busy with X, Y, Z. 
• And finally out of desperation, hours later, I picked up my cell phone. 
• When I did, I found she was also in 'well time' and desperate to call me.
• But we had both listened to the lie so strongly we were stuck all day without relief. 
• It only came after pie, prayer and conversation later that night. 
• It's an honor to invite someone in.

• It's so dark here that daylight wont make a difference.
• Kernel of truth: It is dark here.
• Simple things like:
•  sleep, 
• prayer, 
• calling a friend and asking them to pray when we don't have the strength, 
• or doing something for someone else can help ease this time. 
• The dark feeling is not permanent. NO matter how permanent it may feel.

• These are some of my lies; trust me, there are more. 
• What are some lies in your life?