Who Should Pay?
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| The Slow Reach |
I was sitting in a group of both women
and men when this topic came up. Both men and women vented their
frustrations when it comes to dating. It was fascinating. Here are
points that came up that night.
- Why Some Women Want Men To Pay
- They want to be valued.
- A man choosing to pay for something is a clear example of the woman being a priority in his life.
- Why Some Men Want Women To Pay
- Men don't want to feel used (like an ATM)
- They would love to be treated on occasion.
- Why Some Women Want to Pay
- Independence
- To give back to the guy
- Why Some Men Want To Pay
- To show that he can take care of her
- Because he values her time
- Some Ways Men Get Frustrated
- As the relationship goes, if a woman never pays for anything.
- If the woman has the man come to something, only to foot the bill.
- If a women orders the most expensive thing on the menu plus multiple drinks. It can ruin his budget for the rest of the evening or month.
- If the men are low on funds it can be difficult to date
- Some Ways Women Get Frustrated
- A man who insists they always go dutch. They might as well be 'just friends'.
- A man foots the bill in the beginning of the relationship but now he “has won” her and stops completely.
- A man who asks the women out for a date and then expects her pay.
- If it's a big deal every time the man pays,
- it can make the woman feel she is a burden in his life
- If a man blows his money constantly in frivolous ways,
- Then has no money for dating.
- It looks like she is a low priority...
- How will this translate with someday with kids?
- If a man never lets the woman treat him, even after she insists.
- If a man expects her to pay all the time.
- Nut Shell:
- Men don't want to feel used.
- Women don't want to feel taken for granted.
- Key points:
- Even if a man can't afford it it's nice for him to voice that he wishes he could pay.
- Women be wise about what you order. And sometimes treat the guy.
- Men trust the woman your with to order wisely.
- And if she breaks that trust be honest with her about what you can afford.
- It's okay to be a team on how you spend your time together.
- Some women want men to pay for everything and some men expect to pay for everything
- If that's what's happening fabulous!
- It's clear cut
- The guess work is gone
- But for the rest who are figuring out the this current climate
- sometimes it will be confusing.
- Sometimes one person will be more broke than the other
- Consider this
- Solutions?
- Low cost dates (can't afford that restaurant? Well, go somewhere else. See below)
- Communicate with that special person in your life
- Lay it out (what can you afford, how you value the person, etc.)
- First date?
- Guys, if you asked her out, expect to pay.
- You planned the date?
- If you are a guy, you're paying.
- If you're the girl, (I know double standard but...) make sure the cost is low enough that if he pays or you pay it's not a bank buster.
- Low Cost Ideas (if you want to spend time together but are low on cash...)
- It can be a night walk and a fancy dessert (much cheaper than a meal and still very romantic)
- It can be a hike and a smoothie.
- Or coffee and making dinner at your house.
- Netflix or Red Box and eating lunch (lunch is normally a lot cheaper than dinner)
- It can be window shopping (find the ugliest outfit at the mall)
- Find the most useless item for sale at Target
- bonus Target food court-->affordable
- Breakfast and a bike ride. Followed by a water\fruit break at your place.
- It could be a coffee date
- Here's a video full of date ideas in LA.
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