Christian Dating: “Why am I not being asked out?” A=APPROACHABLE

A=Approachable

Guys are more likely to talk to a girl if they feel welcomed by them first. So, here are some things to keep in mind when heading to that party, or social gathering...

• What are your clothes saying?
• Wear something you feel confident in.
• If it’s sensational but needs constant adjusting, save it for when you have a trusted someone to help you keep track of everything .
• If it makes you feel “cozy” or “comfortable” but not “attractive” better dig a little deeper into your closet.

• What is your face saying?
• A smile is the most attractive thing you can wear
• Eyes…making eye contact vs. cast down
• Look around the room.

• What are your arms saying?
• Crossed vs. uncrossed
• Crossed arms are less friendly

• What are your words saying?
• You just met this guy; have fun!
• Avoid bringing up: high stress levels, health issues, and tirades
• Bring up positive things in your life
• the things you’re thankful for,
• things you enjoy doing
• questions about what he enjoys

• What is your placement in the room saying?
• Standing in a group of women all night vs. crossing alone to get a cup of water and smiling at those you pass 
• A group of women can be intimidating for men.
• I'm not suggesting ditch your friends, just take breaks
• Create moments when you are smiling, looking around a bit, and alone
• See a group of guys?
• Cross over and join the conversation.
• No need to talk right away,
• Smile and wait for a natural opening to comment on the conversation
• If they do show signs of wishing you gone,
• Chances are extremely high something else is going on
• It’s not personal.
• Don't hide
• Not in the bathroom for most of the night
• Not in your car
• Not in some remote corner with no access to you
• I know it seems romantic to have him "come find you" but if he can't really find you then he can't talk to you.
• Stay for awhile
• Stay past the time you would usually stay
• Give the guy some time to gather some courage to talk to you
• If you are gone, then he can't talk to you

•  What are your responses saying?

Guy: “I love roller coasters”

Girl: “Really, I hate roller coasters.”

Vs.

Guy: “I love roller coasters”

Girl: “Really, what do you like about them?”

• Another example:

Guy: “Do you want to go see Chickens Dance on a String this Saturday” (a real thing my uncle took my aunt to while dating, later he found out how much she hated that sort of thing)

Girl: “I think that’s animal cruelty, plus I have a thing Saturday.”

Vs.

Guy: “Do you want to go to Chickens Dance on a String, this Saturday”

Girl: “No, that's animal cruelty to chickens.
Guy: "They're just chickens. I have to hear about why you are so into chickens."
Girl: "I save all my chicken talk for coffee shops."

Guy: “This Saturday?”

Girl: “I got a thing, but I’m free Wednesday”       

• My last note (I've regretted this one)
• Don't get to focused on one specific guy
• Your crush maybe in the room but still be open to smiling at other guys
• If the "wrong guy" approaches you, 
• Still smile and interact with him positively 
• see it as practice
• Use your best judgement
• If there is a real reason to shut a guy down, then do

Coming Soon:

“Why am I not being asked out?”

 Ladies, I can’t always answer this question, even for myself…I can only offer hints I picked up from researching the subject…and a few of these I’m still struggling to implement

The ABs

A=Approachable

B=Beautiful: Part 1 Beauty and the Bible, Part 2 Practicals,